Help Wanted, Defensemen Edition

Wanted: a full-time number-one defensemen for the Dallas Stars

Experience: minimum of five years in the NHL; maximum of 15 (sorry, Chelios)

Skills: ability to make smart decisions; good puck handling skills; the ability to make a defensive play without looking like a deep in the headlights; in other words, the opposite of Matt Niskanen

Are you an NHL defensemen who’s unhappy with your team?  Well, the Dallas Stars might be able to help.  Needed is a defensemen who can take over where Sergei Zubov left off two years ago.  Besides, who wouldn’t love to be number-one?

The job is full-time, 82 nights a year (and possibly more if you do your job correctly!) with an excellent salary.

Call 214-GO-STARS if interested and ask for Joe Nieuwendyk.  Please don’t ask for Brett Hull; he’s not right in the head when it comes to important stuff like this.

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