The newbie’s guide to how we talk over in this part of Starsland.
Nicknames For Stars Players:
James Neal- Nealer, Real Deal, Big Deal Neal
Steve Ott- Otter
Mike Ribeiro- Ribs, That Crazy Portuguese Fellow
Brad Richards- B-Rad, Richy, B-Rich, Vinny’s BFF, Birdbones*
Marty Turco- Turk, Jerk-o (when he does something awful)
Stephane Robidas- Robi, the Schnoz
Matt Niskanen- Nisky, Niskers
Mark Fistric- Fishsticks, Fisty, Helmet-Thrower
Brenden Morrow- Captain, B-Mo, Brenden
Loui Eriksson- Loui, Lehtinen-in-Training
Fabian Brunnstrom- Fabio, Fabian, Bunny
Ivan Vishnevskiy- Vish, Mini Zubie,
Andrew Hutchinson- Hutch
Brett Hull- Hully, the Ambassador of Fun
Jamie Benn- Bennster, J-Benn, JB, Total BAMF
Tom Wandell- Gilbert, TW_23, Tommy, Wandangles
…and I just don’t have any nicknames for the rest of the guys.
*I call Richards, “Birdbones” because of his freak hand and wrist injuries. Birds have weak bones, and that might’ve been the case with Richy. Hopefully not, but it’s nice to look back and giggle and those sort of things.
Nicknames For Other Players:
Mike Modano- Mo, Mike, # 9
Sergei Zubov- Zubie, The Russian
Jere Lehtinen- Lehts
Jussi Jokinen- Juicy, The Finnish-er, Juicy Fruit
Antti Miettinen- Mittens
Alex Ovechkin- Ovie, The Great 8, AO
Pavel Datsyuk- Dats, Dat-suck (when I hate the Wings), The Other Russian
Vincent Lecavalier- Vinny, Brad’s BFF
Luke Schenn- Schennster
Sidney Crosby- Sheldon*
Evgeni Malkin- Geno, Dirtball
Ryan Getzlaf- Baldie
Chris Pronger- The Elbow-nator, Captain Elbow
*I call Crosby Sheldon because on one episode of SpongeBob, Plankton’s real name is Sheldon. Sheldon is such a wimpy name that I decided to give it to Crosby. Sheldon Crosby. Hee, hee.
Phrases:
“Pull a Marty Turco”- Turco always moves the puck behind his net, and he does it more than any other goalie, so whenever he screws up and turns it over, he pulls a Marty Turco.
“Mike Modano-Wannabe”- A Mike Modano-Wannabe, or MMW, is any young American forward who gives any reference to liking or idolizing Mo, and actually has the talent to come close to breaking Mo’s scoring records.
-Examples of MMW’s: Bobby Ryan, Patrick Kane
“Star-Killer”- Any player who gives the Stars a particularly bad time or knocks them unconscious.
-Examples of Star-Killers: Daniel Carcillo, Teemu Selanne, the Chicago Blackhawks
“Zubovian”- Any play reminiscent of former Star, and playmaker extraordinaire, Sergei Zubov
“Pittsburgh-ed”- Whenever a team/player is rewarded a free call or gets certain concessions from the league for who they are
ex. Mostly Pittsburgh, but also Canadian teams, and superstar players
“Brian Hayward Rule”- Basically, this is what I call it when someone inexplicably ends up a star of the game. This happens mostly at Anaheim, but I’ve seen it at other places, too.
“BFFFFs”- Best Fucking Finnish Friends Forever. I use this when talking about Finnish friends. Why? Because I love Finns (except maybe the Ruutus).
Etc.
-Morrow and Ribs are like those magic twins on TV. They have special rings that ignite their chemistry. When the chemistry doesn’t work between them it means one thing: somebody lost their ring.
Because it makes me feel good. 
